Goldilocks Au-Go-Go

Looks like we've got another mystery here at Porchwood, but that's what we're here for. Keeping porches safe for old ladies in rockers and grumpy old men in dirty underwear everywhere.

Tuesday morning of this week, my beautiful other-half calls me urgently to the front door. To see this:


Yeah. Sometime during the night (it had rained after midnight and the poor plush thing was sopping wet), this little foundling had been left on our stoop.

We thought it pretty amusing and decided to leave it there for the day. Also, it was disgusting to pick up, being all soggy and the like. Blecchh!

It was still there in the evening. We thought it might like a change of scenery (and those beady eyes were getting creepy to look at) so we turned it around, thusly:


And we quickly forgot about it. Until the next morning:


And then there were two. I didn't even go out on the porch; just snapped the pic from the safety of the foyer. (What, you don't have a foyer?) We all quietly left the house for our respective destinations, avoiding eye contact with the bears.

Upon coming home that evening, imagine our surprise:


Still two bears, but one of them is different! At this point, we're still amused, but also getting kind of creeped out. Wednesday night is a busy one for us, so The Family scattered in our different directions for an hour or two and upon returning home...


The wee ones had migrated. Evidently something scared them and they found a hiding place.

I took pity on them and put them up in the chair together. And kept peering out the curtains all night.

This morning, no change. Just two slightly dewy plush toys. But I'm heading for work in a few minutes. What will we find tonight? Stay tuned, childrens, stay tuned.

For Vice President, Obama Picks...

This cat. Yes, of all the cats on all of the couches in all the world, Obama has chosen our little Pippin to be his Vice Presidential running-mate. Pretty sweet. I guess he's got the cat vote and the cat lovers' vote all locked up. This election's done, folks. Smell ya later!

(Don't you just wanna run your fingers through all that belly hair? Doncha just?)

Porchtar I - The Mystery

So, I'm having my favorite breakfast of toasted bagel, cream cheese and salsa (La Victoria's Salsa Ranchera HOT with a couple of spoonfuls of my homemade million-Scoville habanero paste for kick) and wondering what to post about. And I remember...

I got a new guitar last night! I call it Porchtar I. Will there be a II or III? One never knows. Problem is, I don't know what Porchtar I is. It's a brandless wonder, an eclectic electric oddity - a freak of guitar nature! Check it out:

Yeah, it looks kinda like other guitars, but there's no manufacturer's name on it at all. No serial number, no info, no nothing. Kinda appears to have a Fender headstock, don't it? But if it really is, it's a factory second. Close inspection shows some poor cutting technique on it.


How about these pickups? Look an awful lot like classic Strats to me and to the guy at the guitar shop. He dates the thing maybe early to mid-70s. Maybe. But how do you tell. Was this homemade from scratch or from a kit? Is it Japanese? European? Eastern Bloc? Soviet? (That's my favorite theory - that I got a Soviet guitar. It's kinda like someone showed a picture of a Strat to a Russian instrument maker and said "Make one! Or die!")


And those knobs, those sweet sweet knobs! Shiny, shiny gold they are, gold I tells ya!!! But they are each imperfect. You can see the uppermost knob has an imperfection in the center, but so do the other two. It's like this came from the Island of Misfit Guitars.

Does it play good you ask? Sound good? The answer is very much yes. Action's a bit high but I'll tweak that. Really feels like a Fender neck too, like a decent Telecaster. The awesome thing is the sound, though. Huge! Hot! Hard! Sexy as all Hell! That's a five-position switch and it goes from the bottom with a dry, flat, chunky, chip-yr-teeth wicked Strat sound up to the top with a full-bore sweetly distorted humbuckingness Heaven kinda sound. And loud, loud, loud. I barely had to crank the volume on my Vox. It was worth the 60 bucks just for the pickups.

Oh. Last thing. There's no strap buttons on this baby. Never were. How odd. But that's all part of the beauty of Porchtar I, I guess.

Anybody have a clue about this? Lemme know.

Breaking News: Catfight In Progress (Almost)

Happening right now (and for the last 20 minutes): A hissy, growly, spitty, meowy standoff between the Cats of the House and some Stranger Cat that just wandered onto Porchwood. Poor strange kitty just wants to be friends. But M & P will have none of it.

It's actually getting pretty loud and scary sounding. M's ears are intensely laid back. Maybe I should stop it? I mean, I've been watching and taking pictures and video and making a stupid post about it to yet another stupid blog. But why aren't I doing something? Because this is probably the most fun they will have today, especially the Cats of the House.

It looks like Strange Cat is in this for the long run, too, evidently deciding that baiting weirdo indoor cats is the most fun in town. Video when available.

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Now playing: Flying Saucer Attack - She Moved Through The Fair / Destruction
via FoxyTunes